I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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