Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
