it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize