worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
