You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
