Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
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