can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
