He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
