I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
