In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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