The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
