His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
