Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
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You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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