I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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