Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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