Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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