kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize