The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
