he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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