like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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