party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he was CRYING into my vagina
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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