bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize