Its about making memories worth repressing
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
