Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
