i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
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our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
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Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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