Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
she peed on how many people?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
