I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
