theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
