just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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