Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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