"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
