you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
