Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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