The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
