I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize