You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
