Texts From Last Night

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  (954): View more from Florida

  youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party

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  (954): youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party http://tfl.nu/dv0f
  Replies (7) Good night (2932) Bad night (829)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  ..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...

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  (908): ..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family.. (1-908): yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now... http://tfl.nu/humh
  Replies (8) Good night (792) Bad night (1410)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important

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  (780): Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important http://tfl.nu/ydfw
  Replies (19) Good night (2550) Bad night (636)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?

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  (402): apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor. (717): But why'd she put it on the conveyor then? http://tfl.nu/v0cx
  Replies (4) Good night (2581) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.

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  (325): That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions. http://tfl.nu/l7t6
  Replies (21) Good night (3131) Bad night (1222)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.

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  (425): Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie. http://tfl.nu/fd6n
  Replies (228) Good night (2442) Bad night (4566)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons

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  (813): she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons http://tfl.nu/lk3m
  Replies (37) Good night (746) Bad night (4807)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.

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  (314): we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them. http://tfl.nu/5z6d
  Replies (37) Good night (6704) Bad night (605)
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  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt

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  (340): well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt http://tfl.nu/yxfk
  Replies (21) Good night (3404) Bad night (838)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.

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  (608): last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome. http://tfl.nu/a48x
  Replies (32) Good night (8925) Bad night (1740)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober

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  (602): just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober http://tfl.nu/68n1
  Replies (10) Good night (3114) Bad night (1077)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?

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  (519): Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin? http://tfl.nu/eyam
  Replies (14) Good night (2878) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.

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  (240): my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight. http://tfl.nu/cb14
  Replies (2) Good night (3393) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.

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  (505): Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold. http://tfl.nu/drpi
  Replies (6) Good night (1631) Bad night (678)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.

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  (317): Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina. http://tfl.nu/mqdf
  Replies (9) Good night (1431) Bad night (905)

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