Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

8:17pm: So, How was fun day?

(201): View more from New Jersey

1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success

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(845) 8:17pm: So, How was fun day? (201) 1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success http://tfl.nu/xkzo

Replies (11) Good night (1630) Bad night (483)
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(858): View more from California

Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.

(858): View more from California

i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents

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(858): Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions. (858): i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents http://tfl.nu/ut40

Replies (19) Good night (700) Bad night (2420)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?

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(252): after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went? http://tfl.nu/cg2w

Replies (30) Good night (1492) Bad night (4847)
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(760): View more from California

My pussy is not your playground.

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(760): My pussy is not your playground. http://tfl.nu/vnfk

Replies (63) Good night (1449) Bad night (5422)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.

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(605): Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester. http://tfl.nu/t8vg

Replies (9) Good night (2832) Bad night (1205)
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(845): View more from New York

Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping

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(845): Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping http://tfl.nu/4jdo

Replies (12) Good night (737) Bad night (2468)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.

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(615): The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw. http://tfl.nu/u9lh

Replies (10) Good night (765) Bad night (2810)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.

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(413): I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR. http://tfl.nu/5elj

Replies (16) Good night (2953) Bad night (779)
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(415): View more from California

I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.

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(415): I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks. http://tfl.nu/v9xu

Replies (5) Good night (930) Bad night (428)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!

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(321): I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis! http://tfl.nu/o0qu

Replies (4) Good night (599) Bad night (315)
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(254): View more from Texas

He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.

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(254): He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong. http://tfl.nu/xvj4

Replies (2) Good night (358) Bad night (793)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives

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(215): I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives http://tfl.nu/psy5

Replies (4) Good night (305) Bad night (493)
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(661): View more from California

Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.

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(661): Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion. http://tfl.nu/ee7l

Replies (6) Good night (1046) Bad night (272)
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(425): View more from Washington

Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.

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(425): Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home. http://tfl.nu/vg5q

Replies (0) Good night (244) Bad night (350)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.

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(203): I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left. http://tfl.nu/swl5

Replies (6) Good night (271) Bad night (825)

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