all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?