Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?