ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...