Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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