He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
