I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
