Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
