I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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