I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
