Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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