yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
