It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
