Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
