what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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