I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
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And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
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but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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