I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
