talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
