Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
