I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
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Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
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Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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