I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
