I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
