Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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