real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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