using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire