sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon