remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.