but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
last night I used snow as a chaser
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
