watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
