You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
