you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
