My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
honey bunches of taint.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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