So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
this just has baby written all over it
I checked into jail on foursquare
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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