Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
